Hurting

I woke up this morning and I was hurting. It felt like my whole insides were going to bust. My breathing was ragged and the only position that was comfortable was the fetal postition. The only thing that came to mind was a plea. It wasn't really a pray because it sounds so unlike me. I was pleading and whining. Please God take this pain away. After about 20 minutes or so the pain was completely gone. I realized something though. There are a lot of people hurting in this world and not just from physical pain. Their hearts are litterally hurting and they don't know why. It is our job as Christians to show them the way to ease that pain. I can remember being a sinner and how miserable I was. There were times when I thought I was going to die. I am so glad that God through his infinate mercy and grace decided that I was worth saving. There is still time to reach them. That is our job as lights in this dark world.

Spiritual Gifts

I have been chating with this lady at work and she was asking about spiritual gifts, and one would go about finding out what their gifts were. I went online and found her a spiritual gifts test to take. Then I got to thinking, it has been about 4 years since I took a spiritual gifts test so I took one last week. I knew that I had grown stronger in some areas and weakened in others but wasn't for sure which ones. I was amazed to find that Faith instead of helps is my number 1 spiritual gift followed closely by music and then teaching. I was completely shocked to learn that my faith had grown so much. Then God reminded me of last year. Last year we were having a long and hard time of things, but deep down I KNEW that God was there and that everything was going to be taken care of. He would not put more on us then we could handle. I had to stay strong. There was already one of us falling apart. With God's help and strength I was able to stand and be strong knowing that God is on our side, and if God be for you who can be against you? I will never forget what He brought me from to where I am today. I think Him for that each and everyday. There is a song that goes:

Jesus I'll never forget what you've done for me
Jesus I'll never forget how you set me free
Jesus I'll never forget how you brought me out
Jesus I'll never forget, no never.

That is my prayer and my anthem right now. I will never forget.

If

If you could go back to the day that you were saved, what would you differently? Would you do all the things that you have done the same? Me personally, I would do things a little bit differently. I know that there would be changes to my life and maybe that would be acceptable. Sometimes you have to break a few eggs to make an omlet. So they say. Would you change anything and what would it be? For me, I would have continued my journey with the Lord instead of backsliding.

Where did it all go?

I have a question and I am not exactly sure how it is going to be answered. Some people will say it hasn't left it is still here or go there and you will find it. My question is. What happened to the worship service? Where did it go? I don't understand. I think this blog is just going to be a bunch of jibberish. Sorry about that. I just dont' know how to put it. What is wrong with a church when they decide that a service is no longer a service but a concert to see how loud we can get the music or see how much dancing can go on. I know for sure that that is not of the spirit. Yes, there are instances where people dance in the spirit but not like this service was. I do know that feel of the Holy spirit and that wasn't it. To be of the flesh is enmity with God. You can't have both. You either are flesh or Spirit. Paul said he died daily. That is what we need to do. Die daily to the flesh, don't give in. With God's strength it is possible.

My daily reading

As my sis-in-law always says "don't skip over the scriptures". I was reading this morning and came across this scripture.

Psalm 119:1-8
1. Happy are people of integrity, who follow the law of the Lord.
2. Happy are those who obey his decrees and search for him with all their hearts.
3. They do not compromise with evil, and they walk only in his paths.
4. You have charged us to keep your commandments carefully.
5. Oh, that my actions would consistently reflect your principles!
6. Then I will not be disgraced when I compare my life with your commands.
7. When I learn your righteous laws, I will thank you by living as I should.
8. I will obey your principles. Please don't give up on me!

These verses were taken from the New Living translation Version. But I just wanted to comment on a couple of them. My heart was truly touched by these verses. I would like you to reread verse 5 and verse 8.
Verse 5 is talking about our actions. Basically, everything we do. Be is grocery shopping or visiting with friends. My actions WILL consistently reflect His principles. Verse 8 the last part states simply "Please don't give up on me!" Right now that is my hearts cry. Please Lord, don't give up on me! This verse lets me know that the writer of this was human and he did make mistakes just like us. But with God's grace and mercy He manages to look down at us and help us fix the mess we made. Thank you God for that.

The Blood

I found this in my email and thought it was a great story.

THE BLOOD
One night in a church service a young woman felt the tug of God
at her heart.

She responded to God's call and accepted Jesus as her Lord and Savior.
The young woman had a very rough past, involving alcohol,
drugs, and prostitution.

But, the change in her was evident. As time went on she became
a faithful member of the church.

She eventually became involved in the ministry,
teaching young children.

It was not very long until this faithful young woman
had caught the eye and heart of the pastor's son.

The relationship grew and they began to make wedding plans.

This is when the problems began.

You see, about one half of the church did not think that a woman
with a past such as hers was suitable for a pastor's son.

The church began to argue and fight about the matter.

So they decided to have a meeting.

As the people made their arguments and tensions increased,
the meeting was getting completely out of hand.

The young woman became very upset about all the things
being brought up about her past.

As she began to cry the pastor's son stood to speak.



He could not bear the pain it was causing his wife to be.
He began to speak and his statement was this:

"My fiancee's past is not what is on trial here.
What you are questioning is the ability of the blood of Jesus
to wash away sin.

Today you have put the blood of Jesus on trial.
So, does it wash away sin or not?"

The whole church began to weep as they realized that they had been slandering the blood of the Lord Jesus Christ .
Too often, even as Christians, we bring up the past
and use it as a weapon against our brothers and sisters.

Forgiveness is a very foundational part of the Gospel
of our Lord Jesus Christ .

If the blood of Jesus does not cleanse the other person completely
then it cannot cleanse us completely.

If that is the case, then we are all in a lot of trouble.

What can wash away my sins?

Nothing but the blood of Jesus ! End of case!!!!
"Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and he shall sustain thee
he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved."

Psalm 55:23

God's Grace

I was reading "My utmost for His highest" by Oswald Chambers yesterday and he was talking about the grace of God.

"Let circumstances take you where they will, but keep drawing on the grace of God in whatever condition you may find yourself. One of the greatest proofs that you are drawing on the grace of God is that you can be totally humiliated before others without displaying even the slightest trace of anything but His grace."

He goes on to say that the grace of God you have today won't be sufficient for today. How each day you need to pray and ask God for His grace for today. He also states that prayer is the practice of drawing on the grace of God.

How many times in your prayer life (me) do we just ask God for His grace? Instead of using prayer time to ask for certain needs , or for just getting our hearts ready to hear the word preached at church.

I am here by the grace of God. It is my honor to pray and seek His face.

Lord, help me to remember this. Please help me to not take my prayer life for granted. Help me to draw on your grace each and every day. Amen.

Blessings

I am really a nobody. I don't have a lot of friends and really that is ok with me. If I had too many friends I would be way too busy. I know me! :o) But I am sitting here at 9 at night thinking about how blessed I really am. I went to work this morning at 9:30 and didn't get home until 6:30pm. That really is a long day. I would much rather be here at home with my kids and my husband spending quality time with them. But, despite that, I am BLESSED. I am blessed to have two beautiful children who have no physical ailments that hinder them in anyway. They love me if when I have to discipline them which is really hard to do. I have a wonderful husband whom I have been married to for 10 wonderful years. We just click so well together. I couldn't imagine my life without him in it. I am blessed because he loves me and respects me. Not many men these days treat their wives the way I am treated. I am BLESSED. I came home tonight from work to find that this lady whom I am proud to call a friend has sent me a care package. This lovely lady has sent me some clothes. Now, some of you may be thinking "wow clothes" but it really isn't what she sent but that she remembered me and sent them to me. This blog entry is mainly an entry to remind me that no matter what happens I am BLESSED. God is amazing.

???

I am currently on a quest. It is a quest that I put myself on. I want more of God. I want to hear His voice better than I do now. The list of wants is long. I don't want them to better myself, I want them to know Him more.

Hotels

I have decided that hotels are of the devil. We have been staying at this really nice hotel. You know that saying that states" If it seems to good to be true then it probably is". Well, I have learned that the hard way today. As I went to check my bank account I find that the hotel has not only charged us for the days we intially booked but and extra one as well. Well, that would have been fine if it would have showed up yesterday so we could have gotten it fixed for today. As it is we are 6 to 7 hours from home and have enough money to buy one tank of gas. I know there is a lesson here somewhere but at this time I am just not seeing it. I can't really call anyone and ask for money because they would have to put it in my bank and then we still couldn't use it until tomorrow. I hate feeling helpless. Oh well, I guess that is just the way things work around here. Have a great and blessed day in the Lord.

Hello again

I just wanted to come online and tell everyone (all one of you) hi. I haven't been posting for a few days because I am on vacation. I am loving it by the way. A much needed rest and joining of the family. We have had so much fun. When you are on vacation it is like all the cares in the world are gone and nothing matters anymore. At least that is the way I feel. Sadly though, all good things must come to an end. We will be heading home tomorrow morning. I am sad to leave but will eqaully be glad to be getting back home. I miss my bed and my 50 million pillows. At least that is how many my husband counts each night. LOL :o) Oh well, I guess that is all I wanted to say today. Have a great and blessed day in the Lord. For all of you in Gainesville, TX my prayers are with you. Sleep well all!

Changes Part 2

My post from earlier was talking about changes. Well, some changes have happened. Not very good ones I must say. I was at work when my sister calls. She called to tell me that my uncle had a heart attack and when they got him to the hospital they couldn't revive him. My uncle passed away this evening. I am very sad. I loved my uncle very much but that is really not why I am sad. Unless he talked with God before he passed on then I know where he is spending his eternity. That is what makes me sad and broken hearted. Please if you are a christian and are reading this I am asking for your help in praying for my dad (Lester). This is hitting him really hard. He did CPR on my uncle until the ambulance got there. I can only imagine what is going on in his mind and heart right now. My dad is unsaved. He really needs the Lord in his life. Please help me pray. Thank you and God Bless you all.

Changes

There are a few things that will be changing in my world. I can't wait. I have this anticipation that God is in it and all around it and is is going to be sooo good. We are blessed beyond measure. Things are good and I just want the Praise Him for all he has done and all that He will do. Because believe it or not I am 30 but He is still working on me. I love that song
He's still working on me
to make me what I ought to be
Can't help it. I am just insanely happy today.
Have a great and blessed day in the Lord.

Vacations

I go on vacation in 4 days. I can't wait. I don't get paid from work for going but I can't wait to go. I need a break and feel like this is going to be a good one. Sometimes you just need to get away. I just want rest. I realized the other day that mine and my husbands lives are boring without the kids. My husband and I were home alone yesterday and after a couple of hours I announced "I'm Bored". It didn't take long for me to realize that my life without the kids is nothing right now. My life revolves around them and what is best for them. I don't mind. It gives me things to do. God is so good to grant me children that are healthy and love to worship Him.

I can only imagine

You are in your car driving home. Thoughts wander to the game you want to see or meal you want to eat, when suddenly a sound unlike any you've ever heard fills the air. The sound is high above you. A trumpet? A choir? A choir of trumpets? You don't know, but you want to know. So you pull over, get out of your car, and look up. As you do, you see you aren't the only curious one. The roadside has become a parking lot. Car doors are open, and people are staring at the sky. Shoppers are racing out of the grocery store. The Little League baseballgame across the street has come to a halt. Players and parents are searching the clouds. And what they see, and what you see, has never before been seen. As if the sky were a curtain, the drapes of theatmosphere part. A brilliant light spills onto the earth. There are no shadows. None. From whence came the light begins to tumble a river of color spiking crystals of every hue ever seen and a million more never seen. Riding on the flow is an endless fleet of angels. They pass through the curtains one myriad at atime, until they occupy every square inch of the sky.North.South.East.West. Thousands of silvery wings rise and fall in unison, and over the sound of the trumpets, you can hear the cherubim and seraphim chanting, Holy, holy, holy. The final flank of angels is followed by twenty-four silver-bearded elders and a multitude of souls who join the angels in worship.
Presently the movement stops and the trumpets are silent, leaving only the triumphant triplet: Holy, holy, holy. Between each word is a pause. With each word, a profound reverence. You hear your voice join in the chorus. You
don't know why you say the words, but you know you must. Suddenly, the heavens are quiet. All is quiet. The angel's turn, you turn, the entire world turns and there He is. Jesus.Through waves of light you see the silhouetted figure of Christ the King. He is atop a great stallion, and the stallion is atop a billowing cloud. He opens his mouth, and you are surrounded by his declaration: I amthe Alpha and the Omega.The angels bow their heads. The elders remove their crowns. And before you is a Figure so consuming that you know, instantly you know: Nothing else matters.Forget stock markets and school reports. Salesmeetings and football games. Nothing is newsworthy.All that mattered, matters no more.... for Christ has come.

School

I find myself torn today. I was hit with some news which I think is great, but it is a bit pricey. The college in my town is opening its campus to kids from grades 2-6 to go to college for a week and see what it is like. They will actually be learning as well. My 9 year old told me she would really like to go. I want to send her but who knows. God is our provider and with His help I know that we will be able to let her go. It amazes me that see just gets out of school for the summer and she wants to go to school during the summer instead of playing outside all the time. WOW!! I have the most wonderful, terrific children in the world.

The end is near

Tomorrow is the last day of school for the kids. They can't wait. My son is happy because he is not a morning person and my daughter is happy because she will get to go and spend the night at people's houses. In about 2 weeks and a few days we go on vacation. We can't wait. We began looking forward to this time of the year around Christmas. Trying to decide where we are going to go and that sort of thing. I usually leave that task up to my husband. He is very good at that sort of thing. I just realized while sitting here it has gotten as dark as 8 or 9 o'clock at night outside. Yeah! more storms. Don't get me wrong we really need to rain around here but does it have to come in gully washers instead of a nice steady spring shower. Oh well, who am I to question what God has in store for us. I think I have rambled on enough for the day. Have a great day.

Things and Stuff

I really didn't know what to title this blog. I have been struggling with this blog since Wednesday ( May 16). On Wednesday night we went to church and the teaching was wonderful. On Wednesdays the preacher doesn't preach really but more along the lines of teaching. Which is good. I love to be taught. In Romans chapter 12 it talks about the measure of faith. My pastor said that every man is given a measure. Picture if you will a circle and you are in the middle of that circle. That is your measure of faith. What is in that circle is what you can directly affect. If you are a parent it is you kids and spouse. If you are a teacher then it is your classroom of children. Things like that. The prayer of Jabez asks that God expand our boarders. How can God expand our boarders when we don't even take care of what is in our little circle? If God was to bless us with more, how do we know that it won't kill us or drive us away from Him. If you are praying for a home of your own ( and I am talking to myself) then look at the house your are in now. Are you caring for it the way you should? God wants to bless you but He won't give us more than we can carry either. Sounds like a contradiction doesn't it. But really it is not when you actually stop and think about it. The gist of this. Take care of what God has given you first before you ask for more. Be content with what you have and with where you are. If no one else gets this but me at least I am on the record as to knowing what it is that I need to be working on. Have a great and Blessed Day.

Pleasures

Pleasure in the dictionary means: desire, inclination 2. a state of gratification: enjoyment. 3. a source of delight or joy.

There are many things that bring about this pleasure. Serving God gives me pleasure. To know that there are just simple little things that I can do for Him when He has done so much for me. But I find myself finding pleasure in other things as well and wondering to myself if I should. For instance, I LOVE to get my nails done. Not only does it feel really good to be "pampered" some but my hands always seem to look really pretty to me. Is that wrong? I think that is the only thing that really and truly brings me pleasure that really seems worldly. I seriously think that I could cut out tv watching and that not bother me. I guess the question that is bothering me is "Is it wrong to find pleasure is something as simple as getting a manicure?"

Promotions

Everyone that works knows what it is like to be offered a better position in the company. Well, that offer came to me yesterday. I was called to the office and was asked if I would like the job of working in the office. This job consists of all nights 12:30-9:30, but it will get me out of the department that I am currently working in permanently. I really don't like the department I am working in right now. Let me take you back a little bit. When I was first hired on for this company the manager and I sat down and discussed some issues. Mostly the fact that I wouldn't work on Sundays and not on Wednesdays past 5. He said that would be no problem we can do that and so he wrote it on my hiring contract that I wouldn't work on Sundays and not on Wednesdays past 5 signed by both him and myself. And he told me that if anyone scheduled me on those days at times to come to him and he would fix it. I said great. Well , when he offered me this new position I assumed the same still applied. So when he told me about the night thing something was niggling at my brain. So I asked him about it. You should probably also know that now we go to church on Saturday night not Sunday morning. So I asked him about Saturday nights and Wednesday nights. He said "I can't guaranty you those evenings off". Wow, what has changed. I don't think my hiring contract has. I just looked at him shocked and he said why don't you go and think about it and let me know yes or no before 5 this evening. I said ok. So, I went back to my work and instead of thinking about it I was praying. When I went on my last break for the day I called my husband and told him what was going on. He wasn't happy. Talking about how the company wanted on pagans working for them and told me to ask the boss if I also needed to sacrifice a goat for him. That sort of thing. My husband gets very intense sometimes. But that just makes me love him all the more because I know he cares. So, anyway, I got off the phone with him and went to the office to talk to the boss. I prayed the whole way to the office. Did I mention the job came with a raise too. When I got there he told me to have a seat and I said that I would rather stay standing. I began to tell him that I appreciated the offer, but I couldn't turn my back on my God, my church and church family, or my home family for that matter. Those things make up who I am and the reason I am a hard worker. That is just me! I can't see myself not going to church that is something that has become a part of me. He said that he respects my decision and that if I was ever willing to make that "sacrifice" to let him know.

I thought that I would be upset about this but I find myself at peace about it. I think that is what made the devil soooo mad. Yesterday when I got home he decided to try and use my children. I am so sorry to hear that. Because I will FIGHT tooth and nail for my kids. The devil can't have them. I won't allow it. I had to discipline my son yesterday. Twice. Anyone who knows me knows that that is not what I do. Moms are supposed to be soft and gentle. They have tender hearts just like a child. Those hearts can be broken very easily. Well, my heart was broken and it felt like it was never going to mend. It is still sore in spots but better. I don't think I have ever cried as much as I cried yesterday. My world seems to be in an uproar but I am still not stressed about it. I know that God has a plan and I am trusting Him to see me through. I would like to leave you with a couple of verses that were shown to me.
Psalm 37:4,5
4. Delight thyself also in the Lord; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.
5. Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.