A whole lot of stuff

I was asked a question Sunday morning during Sunday School so I am going to ask you. What is your Joy? I pondered this all day. On saturday night I was up until 12pm and I go to work at 3:00am every morning. Well, Sunday morning after work i usually go back to sleep for at least an hour sometimes 2 if I am lucky. But this Sunday I could not get back to sleep. I don't know why but something wouldn't let me sleep. So I layed there and prayed and that is all I did was pray. I prayed for 2 hours. And no answer came. Have you ever prayed with all that is in you and still no answer came? Well, the Bible tells us to pray without ceasing. So, guess what? That is what I did all day yesterday. There were some things going on in me personally that made me feel inadequit like there were things that I was supposed to be doing but not. Well, Sunday night God asked me to give up something that I really don't want to. It was litterally ripping out my heart to hear Him say to do this. Just that morning I was teaching the kids in children's church about Jonah and who he disobeyed God and that is how he ended up in the belly of that whale. So, I told them that when God speaks to them and asks them to do something they should do it. Because God will not put more on us then we can handle. So, Sunday night the pastor asked everyone to pray and our church really does not have an alter so I stayed at me seat and prayed. God answered my prayer and told me that I needed to quit the worship team and stay in the congregation with the children of the church. I heart's cry is for the children. To see them saved and living for God and worshipping Him in spirit and in truth. It really hurt to hear Him ask me to do this because I love to sing. During this time the worship leader and the pianist are up there singing while people are praying and they began to sing, while similtaniously I was asking God to fill in the void that would be where my energy for the worship team would be, they began to sing "Fill my cup Lord, I lift it up Lord. Come and quench this thirsting of my soul, bread of Heaven feed me till I want no more, Here's my cup fill it up and make me whole". Since then I have spoken with the worship leader which is my husband and told him. He doesn't understand completely because I couldn't explain but he knows when I hear from God and knows that I want to follow His will not mine. And since I told him I haven't wanted to sing on the worship team anymore. I know that it is still there but God has replaced it with my heart's cry so intensely that that is all I think about now. Thank you Lord for dealing a strong headed woman, and thank you for filling that void in me. Amen.