Long Time

I got to looking and I have not posted anything in a very very very long time. I got to thinking that I haven't really spent anytime with God in a very very very long time either. Then I remembered something I said in a previous blog. To make a marriage work you need to spend time fine tuning it and making sure that you spend time talking and things like that. The same can be said with a relationship with God. You must make time. God will not force you. You have free will and God will not take over that. It is your chose whether you make the time or not. I here recently have not made that chose. I don't know what my deal is. I really enjoy time with God. But, here lately I have decided that life is just too complicated and I really don't have time. Then I got to thinking, what if God said "You know I really don't have time right now. I have all these other things to do." What kind of predicament would I be in then. There are some things that I need to change and this weekend seems like a good time for that. Actually a month ago seemed like a good time for that. I am just a month behind i suppose.

Who knows

I find myself being pulled in many directions right now. I know that part of the reason is because I have not spent the time I know I need to in prayer. Reading the Word is no problem, but I find myself at a loss for words when it comes to prayer. I have ceased praying for myself. I have people that are always praying for me and that is great and I love it. It takes a special kind of person to put aside everything that I know is going on in their lives to pray for others. I have come to a place of consistency. That is good in a way but bad in others. I love the work I do. I work at a christian preschool as a teacher. It is great work, but I find myself being pulled away from my husband and children. I hate that part. This job is taking about 12 hours of my day, that leaves 8 hours for sleeping, about 2 hours with my kids and 2 hours with my husband. I could cut out the sleeping but then what good would I be. I good Godly marriage takes time, I feel like I am lacking in that area. I was home sick on Friday and when my kids got off the bus they saw my car in the driveway and immediately started howlering "Mom's home, Mom's home". Made me stop and think about a few things. Who knows how this will turn out. I will trust God in ALL THINGS!

Thanksgiving 2007

I just wanted to say to all Happy Thanksgiving. This is my last thanksgiving in my 20's. In 5 days I turn 30. I am not sure if I like that thought or not. I am thankful that God has giving me nearly 30 years on this earth. I am praying for at least 30 more. I was happy to be turning 30 but now I am not so sure. I have this feeling that I am not where I should be but I do know that I am doing what God wants me to right now. Wow! I think I just confused myself. And so it begins. :o) Oh well.

Church

At our church we have three services. But it isn't the usual three like others. We have a Sunday morning, a wednesday night, and a saturday night. Sunday morning and Saturday night are preaching and alter calls and a POWERFUL worship service. Wednesday is a indepth bible study. I said all that to say this. :o) Last night I went to church after 2 weeks of not going. There has been this sickness going on thru the house and I think we are all just about over it. But last night I was sitting there and one of our members from the worship team came over and started talking to me. I felt it was kind of strange at first considering that she has a broken foot. But she came over and started talking to me and was asking me what was wrong. So I told her about all the sickness that we were going thru and how I am just sooo tired of being sick. I just don't have the energy to do the things that I think need to be done. She just looked and me and said to me the simpliest of phrases. I have heard it before but for some reason it really hit home. She said, " Just worship and give it all to God." We still had a few minutes before church started so I sat there and began to tell God ( as if He didn't already know) what I was feeling and how tired I was. The music for the service began to play and all the songs were about how wonderful and mighty God is. How Holy He is. I just began to sing "Holy" over and over again. The Spirit of God came over me and I felt peace. It was a wonderful feeling. I don't remember feeling that level of peace in my life for a long time. After church I got to thinking about something that was said during our chapel time and the preschool that I work at. She said that God is waiting to hear from us. It doesn't have to be anything big just a simple "Hello" or "I love you". Then I was remembering something that our pastor last night said. He said " How can you have a relationship with someone if you dont' talk to them?" I then began to realize that my prayer life is NOTHING like it once was. The relationship that I loved so much was gone and I didn't even realize it. WOW!!! This post may not ever get read by anyone but me but at least I can look back and remember. If you are reading this Have a blessed and wonderful day in the Lord.

Sowing and Reaping

I am reminded of a verse.
2 Cor. 9:6
But this I say, He which soweth sparingly shall reap also sparingly; and he which soweth bountifully shall reap also bountifully.
Which brings me to another verse which during my reading this morning I found.

Psalm 126:5
They that sow in tears shall reap in joy.

He that sows sparingly shall reap sparingly. Have you noticed that when things are bad you are crying out to God for help and usually (with me) there is a lot of crying. God knows each tear you shed whether it is tears of joy or tears of sadness. How awesome to know that He hears us and He cares enough to know each tear we shed. I can't help but think of all those Christians out there in pain and wondering why this or that is happening to them. Wanting and needing a break of some kind. But instead of turning to the world for answers they are Crying out to God. But now I am reminded of the verse I found this morning that states " They that sow in tears shall reap in joy." With that joy comes a peace as well. How sweet that peace is. So, if you are trevailing and crying but of good cheer for joy comes in the morning. Just know that you are being prayed for. Even if I don't know your name you are on my heart.

Childhood

I was watching my class of 15 3yr. olds and figured out something. Adults are no different really. I mean look at it. We don't just walk up and hit someone because they took our toy away but we do hurt them other ways. If someone says something or does something that we don't like or don't agree with we start "hitting" each other with our words. Words are very dangerous. They can hurt people so badly that they never want to be around you or talk to you anymore. And when things don't go our way we may not actually stomp and throw a fit but you can tell when someone is sulking. They will have this look on their face like you just kicked their dog. They may be smiling on the outside but on the inside they are boiling mad and hurt. I have decided to watch my words. Keeping our words non-hurtful is a good example for my children. I have also noticed that they know when you are not happy. It makes their day not so good either. Just a soapbox that I find myself on sometimes. Probably pertains to no one but me but oh well. At least it is now in writing.

A couple of things

I have been praying for months that God would send me the job that I desire. I mean after all, He said He would give us the desires of our hearts. Well, on Sunday August 19, I was looking through the paper and discovered several different jobs that I fill would fit my gifts and talents. So, on Monday the 20th I called and I had 3 different interviews set up for Wednesday the 22nd. There was one in particular that I thought God really was calling me to. It happened to be the first interview of the day. I walked in and felt God with me. As if He were walking right beside me up the stairs to the office. It was the most comforting feeling I have felt in years. I wasn't nervous or even jittery like I usually get before an interview. Just peaceful. I was sitting there talking to the lady and telling her a little bit about myself and why I felt I should get the job. While in the middle of the interview she started talking about what would be expected of me each day and that is when I realized that she was asking telling me that I had the job. I was sitting there talking to her for an hour and a half and left with a new job. She was asking when I could start and she said that if it was up to her she would send me home to eat some lunch and change into something to play with kids in and have me back that afternoon. I was shocked and in awe. I couldn't believe it. I had a new job. It was a great feeling. The whole way home I was praying and crying and just thanking God for all He had done and was continuing to do in my life. My stress level has gone down tremendously since I started this new job. My voice level has actually gotten better as well. I don't loose me temper as much either.

Each morning we (my class and I) start our day with praise and worship. On fridays we have chapel. It is a wonderful feeling to know that God is a part of this school in every aspect. Have a great and blessed day in the Lord.

Revelation

I have realized something about myself that is not very flattering. I am like a cobra. I strike at anyone I feel is a threat to me. I get very defensive if anyone starts to question the reason as to why I do this or that. I am tired of being on the defensive all the time. If someone has something to say about me oh well. Maybe I am what they said and if so I can learn from it and go on. I will no longer "strike" back. That doesn't help anyone. I will not criticize, condemn, or complain. This is probably for no one but me. But at least it is now documented. Have a great day and keep smiling. It makes your day brighter and you never know who might need to see it.

Hurting

I woke up this morning and I was hurting. It felt like my whole insides were going to bust. My breathing was ragged and the only position that was comfortable was the fetal postition. The only thing that came to mind was a plea. It wasn't really a pray because it sounds so unlike me. I was pleading and whining. Please God take this pain away. After about 20 minutes or so the pain was completely gone. I realized something though. There are a lot of people hurting in this world and not just from physical pain. Their hearts are litterally hurting and they don't know why. It is our job as Christians to show them the way to ease that pain. I can remember being a sinner and how miserable I was. There were times when I thought I was going to die. I am so glad that God through his infinate mercy and grace decided that I was worth saving. There is still time to reach them. That is our job as lights in this dark world.

Spiritual Gifts

I have been chating with this lady at work and she was asking about spiritual gifts, and one would go about finding out what their gifts were. I went online and found her a spiritual gifts test to take. Then I got to thinking, it has been about 4 years since I took a spiritual gifts test so I took one last week. I knew that I had grown stronger in some areas and weakened in others but wasn't for sure which ones. I was amazed to find that Faith instead of helps is my number 1 spiritual gift followed closely by music and then teaching. I was completely shocked to learn that my faith had grown so much. Then God reminded me of last year. Last year we were having a long and hard time of things, but deep down I KNEW that God was there and that everything was going to be taken care of. He would not put more on us then we could handle. I had to stay strong. There was already one of us falling apart. With God's help and strength I was able to stand and be strong knowing that God is on our side, and if God be for you who can be against you? I will never forget what He brought me from to where I am today. I think Him for that each and everyday. There is a song that goes:

Jesus I'll never forget what you've done for me
Jesus I'll never forget how you set me free
Jesus I'll never forget how you brought me out
Jesus I'll never forget, no never.

That is my prayer and my anthem right now. I will never forget.

If

If you could go back to the day that you were saved, what would you differently? Would you do all the things that you have done the same? Me personally, I would do things a little bit differently. I know that there would be changes to my life and maybe that would be acceptable. Sometimes you have to break a few eggs to make an omlet. So they say. Would you change anything and what would it be? For me, I would have continued my journey with the Lord instead of backsliding.

Where did it all go?

I have a question and I am not exactly sure how it is going to be answered. Some people will say it hasn't left it is still here or go there and you will find it. My question is. What happened to the worship service? Where did it go? I don't understand. I think this blog is just going to be a bunch of jibberish. Sorry about that. I just dont' know how to put it. What is wrong with a church when they decide that a service is no longer a service but a concert to see how loud we can get the music or see how much dancing can go on. I know for sure that that is not of the spirit. Yes, there are instances where people dance in the spirit but not like this service was. I do know that feel of the Holy spirit and that wasn't it. To be of the flesh is enmity with God. You can't have both. You either are flesh or Spirit. Paul said he died daily. That is what we need to do. Die daily to the flesh, don't give in. With God's strength it is possible.

My daily reading

As my sis-in-law always says "don't skip over the scriptures". I was reading this morning and came across this scripture.

Psalm 119:1-8
1. Happy are people of integrity, who follow the law of the Lord.
2. Happy are those who obey his decrees and search for him with all their hearts.
3. They do not compromise with evil, and they walk only in his paths.
4. You have charged us to keep your commandments carefully.
5. Oh, that my actions would consistently reflect your principles!
6. Then I will not be disgraced when I compare my life with your commands.
7. When I learn your righteous laws, I will thank you by living as I should.
8. I will obey your principles. Please don't give up on me!

These verses were taken from the New Living translation Version. But I just wanted to comment on a couple of them. My heart was truly touched by these verses. I would like you to reread verse 5 and verse 8.
Verse 5 is talking about our actions. Basically, everything we do. Be is grocery shopping or visiting with friends. My actions WILL consistently reflect His principles. Verse 8 the last part states simply "Please don't give up on me!" Right now that is my hearts cry. Please Lord, don't give up on me! This verse lets me know that the writer of this was human and he did make mistakes just like us. But with God's grace and mercy He manages to look down at us and help us fix the mess we made. Thank you God for that.

The Blood

I found this in my email and thought it was a great story.

THE BLOOD
One night in a church service a young woman felt the tug of God
at her heart.

She responded to God's call and accepted Jesus as her Lord and Savior.
The young woman had a very rough past, involving alcohol,
drugs, and prostitution.

But, the change in her was evident. As time went on she became
a faithful member of the church.

She eventually became involved in the ministry,
teaching young children.

It was not very long until this faithful young woman
had caught the eye and heart of the pastor's son.

The relationship grew and they began to make wedding plans.

This is when the problems began.

You see, about one half of the church did not think that a woman
with a past such as hers was suitable for a pastor's son.

The church began to argue and fight about the matter.

So they decided to have a meeting.

As the people made their arguments and tensions increased,
the meeting was getting completely out of hand.

The young woman became very upset about all the things
being brought up about her past.

As she began to cry the pastor's son stood to speak.



He could not bear the pain it was causing his wife to be.
He began to speak and his statement was this:

"My fiancee's past is not what is on trial here.
What you are questioning is the ability of the blood of Jesus
to wash away sin.

Today you have put the blood of Jesus on trial.
So, does it wash away sin or not?"

The whole church began to weep as they realized that they had been slandering the blood of the Lord Jesus Christ .
Too often, even as Christians, we bring up the past
and use it as a weapon against our brothers and sisters.

Forgiveness is a very foundational part of the Gospel
of our Lord Jesus Christ .

If the blood of Jesus does not cleanse the other person completely
then it cannot cleanse us completely.

If that is the case, then we are all in a lot of trouble.

What can wash away my sins?

Nothing but the blood of Jesus ! End of case!!!!
"Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and he shall sustain thee
he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved."

Psalm 55:23

God's Grace

I was reading "My utmost for His highest" by Oswald Chambers yesterday and he was talking about the grace of God.

"Let circumstances take you where they will, but keep drawing on the grace of God in whatever condition you may find yourself. One of the greatest proofs that you are drawing on the grace of God is that you can be totally humiliated before others without displaying even the slightest trace of anything but His grace."

He goes on to say that the grace of God you have today won't be sufficient for today. How each day you need to pray and ask God for His grace for today. He also states that prayer is the practice of drawing on the grace of God.

How many times in your prayer life (me) do we just ask God for His grace? Instead of using prayer time to ask for certain needs , or for just getting our hearts ready to hear the word preached at church.

I am here by the grace of God. It is my honor to pray and seek His face.

Lord, help me to remember this. Please help me to not take my prayer life for granted. Help me to draw on your grace each and every day. Amen.

Blessings

I am really a nobody. I don't have a lot of friends and really that is ok with me. If I had too many friends I would be way too busy. I know me! :o) But I am sitting here at 9 at night thinking about how blessed I really am. I went to work this morning at 9:30 and didn't get home until 6:30pm. That really is a long day. I would much rather be here at home with my kids and my husband spending quality time with them. But, despite that, I am BLESSED. I am blessed to have two beautiful children who have no physical ailments that hinder them in anyway. They love me if when I have to discipline them which is really hard to do. I have a wonderful husband whom I have been married to for 10 wonderful years. We just click so well together. I couldn't imagine my life without him in it. I am blessed because he loves me and respects me. Not many men these days treat their wives the way I am treated. I am BLESSED. I came home tonight from work to find that this lady whom I am proud to call a friend has sent me a care package. This lovely lady has sent me some clothes. Now, some of you may be thinking "wow clothes" but it really isn't what she sent but that she remembered me and sent them to me. This blog entry is mainly an entry to remind me that no matter what happens I am BLESSED. God is amazing.

???

I am currently on a quest. It is a quest that I put myself on. I want more of God. I want to hear His voice better than I do now. The list of wants is long. I don't want them to better myself, I want them to know Him more.

Hotels

I have decided that hotels are of the devil. We have been staying at this really nice hotel. You know that saying that states" If it seems to good to be true then it probably is". Well, I have learned that the hard way today. As I went to check my bank account I find that the hotel has not only charged us for the days we intially booked but and extra one as well. Well, that would have been fine if it would have showed up yesterday so we could have gotten it fixed for today. As it is we are 6 to 7 hours from home and have enough money to buy one tank of gas. I know there is a lesson here somewhere but at this time I am just not seeing it. I can't really call anyone and ask for money because they would have to put it in my bank and then we still couldn't use it until tomorrow. I hate feeling helpless. Oh well, I guess that is just the way things work around here. Have a great and blessed day in the Lord.

Hello again

I just wanted to come online and tell everyone (all one of you) hi. I haven't been posting for a few days because I am on vacation. I am loving it by the way. A much needed rest and joining of the family. We have had so much fun. When you are on vacation it is like all the cares in the world are gone and nothing matters anymore. At least that is the way I feel. Sadly though, all good things must come to an end. We will be heading home tomorrow morning. I am sad to leave but will eqaully be glad to be getting back home. I miss my bed and my 50 million pillows. At least that is how many my husband counts each night. LOL :o) Oh well, I guess that is all I wanted to say today. Have a great and blessed day in the Lord. For all of you in Gainesville, TX my prayers are with you. Sleep well all!

Changes Part 2

My post from earlier was talking about changes. Well, some changes have happened. Not very good ones I must say. I was at work when my sister calls. She called to tell me that my uncle had a heart attack and when they got him to the hospital they couldn't revive him. My uncle passed away this evening. I am very sad. I loved my uncle very much but that is really not why I am sad. Unless he talked with God before he passed on then I know where he is spending his eternity. That is what makes me sad and broken hearted. Please if you are a christian and are reading this I am asking for your help in praying for my dad (Lester). This is hitting him really hard. He did CPR on my uncle until the ambulance got there. I can only imagine what is going on in his mind and heart right now. My dad is unsaved. He really needs the Lord in his life. Please help me pray. Thank you and God Bless you all.