A Magnificent Creator

I was watching a movie called "Twister" this evening. I was amazed when they got to the part were they were tied to the pipes at that farm to try to keep from being blown away by the tornado. I never really thought of it before because it was just a movie for entertainment purposes. Well, when it got to that part this evening I was amazed that I never thought about this before. When they were in the middle of that tornado they looked up and you could see the middle of the storm. I was watching and began to cry and praise God for being a magnificent creator. I can't explain it really. It was just a wonderful site to see that the God that created little old insignificant me also made a storm so grand in size with a distructive pattern about it and yet it is still beautiful. I know some people like that. They are the meanest looking people but on the inside I know there is some good in them. Because as the popular kids shirt says "God don't make no Junk". :o) Since Sunday night September 24, 2006, I have had this peace about me. I don't know why. I don't think our circumstances have changed really. I just feel like a big heavy burden has been lifted and again I am seeing the beauty of God all around me. It is a wonderful feeling. Have a great day, and look around you, you never know what might cause you to smile.

Attacks!

Here lately it seems like my family and I are being attacked. The enemy wants EVERYTHING that we have and even some of the things that we don't have. My family and I just left a church. Believe me that was the hardest thing to do because we do love the people of that church a lot. The pastor and his wife do have their hearts in the right place. I wouldn't say that the church is dead. Because they are growing, very slowly but they are growing. But it seems to me that they are only growing in one area. The elderly. Which don't get me wrong the elderly need God just as much as the rest of us. But what about the children, youth. Please don't blast me yet. :o) I was the children's minister. We had a great turn out at the children's Challenge that we had not long ago but none of the kids came back because most of them went to church elsewhere. I don't blame them for that. The people of that community don't like that church. That church in the past has hurt a lot of people. But people hold grudges for very long times.

On this past Sunday my husband was the worship leader but God had asked him to sit back and watch. So he did. Then this past Sunday God told him to lead worship and see what happens. So he did. You must know something about my huband. He has a heart for worship. That is his passion. It was very hard on him to just sit there and do nothing, but he did it because God asked him to. Have you ever sacrificed something that you were passionate about becasue God asked you to? It is not the easiest thing to do. Back to what I was saying. :o) I was in the congregation on this past Sunday and I was trying with all that was within me to praise and worship but the spirit of God just was not there. I felt like I was going through a thick cloud and there was no end to it. Then I looked up at the platform and saw my husbands face as he was trying to lead these people and you could see the hurt and anguish on his face. It literally broke my heart to watch. I had to close me eyes. My focus all that morning during worship was on God. Not all the millions of problems that seem to be facing my family but God and God alone. And I still could not get to him.
We have decided to go back to the church were we came from because God was asking us to leave this little church. So, on Sunday night I went to a ladies meeting and God was there. You could feel him in the room. It was wonderful.
Many of you probably know that for the past 2 months or so I have been looking for a job, looking for a car. Well, guess what. I now have a job that pays good for being such a small town, and for as long as I need it we have a family car again. One of the ladies on Sunday asked what was going on so I told her. We went looking, my husband and I, at cars on Monday morning after we picked up some furniture for my sis-in-law. And we found the car we want. It is going to take us about 4 weeks to come up with the down payment and then for 3 years that car is covered by a bumper to bumper warranty including the engine. Praise the Lord. I was bummed because I am not a patient person and I am going to have to wait. But my husband said just wait and be cheerful and all will work out just fine. Well, I went to work and I was cheerful told everybody that I found the car that I want but it is going to take a few weeks that sort of thing. When I got home on my lunch hour at 5 the lady that I was talking to on Sunday night, her husband called and said that they had a car that he just brought home from the train yard (he's an engineer) and they wouldn't be using it and we could use for as long as we needed it. PRAISE THE LORD! PRAISE THE LORD! The desert is ending and I can see the Well it is just in reach.

Questions

There are many questions right now going through my brain. I don't know which one to start off with. There was a question asked me through a blog that I read daily and that is going through my head right now more than anything. The question was "What is your passion?". Right now I can't really tell you. It used to be Christ and what I could do for him. I am not saying that that is still not the case. But to actually stop and think about it. I think I lost that passion when my husband went through some things and stopped leading worship. He says that it wasn't worship becuase no one was worshiping. He said that what they want is someone to just lead them in some songs so they can sing and now that is what they have. My spirit is dwindling. It feels as if I am dry and can't quench my thirst. No matter how much I read my bible or pray, which seems to be never ending now days, I still feel dry. I know that at times we go through deserts in our lives but I also now that there is an oasis and I just can't find it. My MP3 player is filled with nothing but praise and worship music and when I am cleaning or even just reading it is playing in my ear. If anyone has any ideas on how to quench this thirst please let me know. I would like to leave you with a song.
Here's my cup Lord. I lift it up Lord.
come and quench this thirsting of my soul.
Bread of Heaven, feed my till I want no more
Here's my cup, fill it up and make me whole.

Nothing much

Well, my last blog has created a lot of controversy(spelling). I am all foggy as to why I even blogged what I did. I have been taking some cold medicine and I think it has fogged up my already foggy brain. When the devil is attacking you and your entire family it always feels like it is coming from all different directions. It makes you weary because you are always on the look out for what is going to happen next. I would like to say however that I am very proud of my sister-in-law. She has started on a new journey in her life and I know that being by herself is not going to be easy. I will however be praying God's blessing on her life because she is going to need it. Another thing, friends are easy to find when they need something but it is the ones that stick through thick or thin that are the real gems. If I have learned anything in the past couple of days it is to think before you speak and cherish the friends you have because not everyone has one.

Hurtful things

Have you ever had anyone in your life that you looked up to and took their opinion to heart? Well, I have and it is great. Until you find out that that person is the one person that can RIP your heart out with just one little word. I have a person that I considered my sister. We used to do all kinds of things together. I used to look forward to when she and I would just spend hours talking and playing skip-bo. I was closer to her than either of my two real sisters. And she is the one person that can tear me down with just one little word. How is it that we let people do that to us. I have decided that no one from now on is going to hurt me like that again. With God's help I will overcome.

Sermons

Have you ever been reading your bible and all of a sudden you are inspired to put a sermon together? Well, this morning I was doing my daily reading and found that I was not only hungry to learn more but I wanted to share what I learned with others. It was the greatest feeling in the world. But I found also that afterwards I felt kinda drained, so I had to read more to refuel myself. I have taught children's church for about a year maybe a bit longer but never felt like this. This is not a sermon suited for kids. I don't know why the Lord has given it to me but I am so glad that He did. If you would like to read it, it is posted at www.missionwhitesboro.blogspot.com . It is not bad it is just not the typical children's church story to tell. So, I encourage you to go and read it when you have time.

Lots going on

Well, I haven't blogged in a while. I seem to be doing this,or that, or the other. We have had a trying time here lately, and I think I brought it on myself. On July 20, 2006 my grandmother, the only grandmother that I have really known, passed away. About 2 weeks prior to that I was feeling the leading of the Holy Spirit to go and speak with my grandmother about heaven and a relationship with Jesus Christ. Well, a week went by and I was reminded again to go. I again became too "busy" with things and never got over there. Well, I came home from church on Wednesday night about 8:30 on the 19th and thought that I should call her and see if she felt like having company for about an hour. But, again I didn't. On Thursday morning about 2:30 am I am awakened by the phone. It is my mother asking me to come to my grandmothers. One thing you must know, my grandmother lived just around the corner from me. I knew my mother wouldn't be calling me that time of the morning if it wasn't vitally important. So, I got into my car and drove as quickly but safely as I could to her house. And, my greatest fears had come true. My grandmother had passed away. I was devastated but I needed to be strong for my mother. I didn't tell my mom about what was going through my heart and mind for 2 weeks because I didn't want to depress her more. So, my husband listened to me go on and on about what kind of a Christian can I be if I couldn't even talk to my own grandmother.
Well, a month later and my car has completely quit on me and my husbands truck you have to push to start it. We are not doing well financially, which is one reason why I still do not have a car. I have sinned and I know it. I think that my sin has brought this on not only myself but my family as well. I am currently trying to get back in the good graces of God and it is a hard road. Just as parents must correct their children God must correct his own. This is my correction and I am not liking it but I am still trusting Him and leaning on His understanding not my own.