Monday, December 18, 2006

Christmas

It is Christmas time again. At first I was not happy or excited about it. My grandmother died in July of this year. She was the only grandparent I had left and she was the one that me and my sisters were the closest to. But now, I am totally looking forward to it. I can't wait to see my kids faces when they open their presents. It is going to be a great day. Not just because of the presents and fun but because the greatest gift of all was given to all. I love Christmas. I hope and pray that everyone has a great Christmas this year and every year to come.

Sunday, December 17, 2006

Holiday Traditions

My family and I did something today that we have never done before. We actually had the money this year to bless others with a good Christmas. My husband and I felt lead by the Lord to bless a family that we used to go to church with. It was such a wonderful feeling. We have helped others before but this was a little different. I don't know why this was different it just was. We went shopping and we picked out the gifts that we wanted to give and then brought them home and wrapped them all and then took them and dropped them off on their front porch. We had a great time, our kids too. I hope to continue the tadition each year and praying that the Lord will give us the name of the family that He wants to bless that year. My challenge to you is to pray through this next year and see how the Lord wants to use you that year to bless others.

Friday, December 15, 2006

Stress

I was just thinking about stress. Such a little word to cause sooo much trouble. I am also realizing why it is important for moms to be home all the time. My children went to stay the night with their aunt last night so my husband and I had the whole house to ourselves. The thing is we were too exhausted from working for the day that we went straight to bed. LOL I never realized just how important it is to talk to your spouse about your day until you don't. Anyway, I went to work this morning at 6 am and was busily doing my job when I got a phone call. Which made my whole world come to a screeching halt for 1/2 an hour. My husband was calling to tell me that my son's school was trying to get ahold of us because he was sick and we needed to come and get him. Wow! I felt so bad because when your kids are sick you just want to be there with them and make them feel better. Well, I couldn't do that and that bugged me badly. I was calling everyone I could think of to go and pick him up from school because when I told me boss that my son's school called and needed someone to go and get him she looked like she was ready to blow a gasket or something. Which didn't help my world any. The first thing out of her mouth was "Can you get someone to go and get him?". Finding someone to go and pick up YOUR kid is not that easy. I mean he is MY kid I should be going to take care of him, right? Well, the first person I called of course was my mother. I didn't want to call the aunt that they spent the night with because she has her job that she has to go to and I feel like I use her too much as it is. So, I called my mom. My mom lives about 15 minutes away and she was not dressed for the day and things like that so it would have been an hour before she could get him. Wow, never thought I would hear the words "I really can't help today sweetie" coming from her. But she was helpful in reminding me that my brother-in-law was currently unemployed and would probably go and get him. Well, by this time I had been dealing with this for about 10 minutes and my boss was not pleased. You could see it in her eyes. So, I hung up with my mom and called my brother-in-law. He said yes he would go and pick him up and take him to his house so my sister could watch him for me till I got off work. I was so relieved but the story doesn't end there. I remembered that my brother-in-law was not on my son's pick up list. So, I had to call the school and let them know who was going to be picking him up and why. They said okay no problem as long as he has his ID. So, then I call my brother-in-law back and tell him what the school said and so off he went. Wow, busy morning right. By the time I got off the phone and all was settled it had been a 1/2 an hour. My boss still not happy. Asked if I needed to leave? I told her no and she said "good". Hello, a store that claims they are family oriented sure didn't seem like it this morning.
Anyway, all that to say that "Stress it's a killer". My pastor was talking about stress on Wenesday night and so I am trying to relieve all stress from my life. That is hard to do. Really hard. I have two young kids and stress just seems to follow me around. If anyone knows a good stress reliever now would be a good time to share.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Reminders

I was lookinb back at my last blog and read the last line that states something like all things work together for good. Well, my husband asked me this morning to pray for him so I have been all day. He is worried about somethings that I really don't think he should worry about. I was in the living room helping the kids get ready for school and silently praying and a verse came to me. "All things work together for good, to them that love the Lord and are called according to His purpose." That verse was pressing on me so I went in the bedroom to talk to my husband and that is what I told him. That is what I felt like I should say to him at that time. Whatever happens is out of our hands but God knows and He will provide because He says so in Hi word. Faith the grain of a mustard seed can move mountains. I am believing God and standing on His word. Everything will be fine.

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Concerns

I don't want to bother anyone who reads this but I have one thing to ask. Please be in prayer for me. I don't usually ask for prayer for myself because that just seems selfish in my way of thinking. I am not telling what the specific need is right now, because if family memebers read this I don't want them to call with their advice. I want God's advice. My family is very important to me and I don't want to hurt any of them at all but we are human, flesh and bone, and we make mistakes. We make decisions based on emotions and feelings. If we are feeling strong and upbeat then we answer one way but at the end of the day if asked the same question our answer will be different. Starting today I am starting a prayer journal. I am going to write down all my cares, concerns, prayer needs things like this in this book and everyday prayer for each one of them specifically and watch how God works in each and everyone of them. I know without a shadow of a doubt that this is not where God wants me to be in my Christian walk. I am changing and growing more each day, but again I am human. I fail and fall and make mistakes but with His help and guidance all will work together for good.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Eye Openers

Well, I have always heard that by not going to church and by not reading the word of God that you are giving a foot hold to the devil. I can't say that I never believed that but wasn't sure if those 2 little things could cause so much trouble. Well, I was wrong! My family and I have missed 3 weeks of church and the last time that I really sat down to read and study the word was at least that long. Things are changing in my world and not really sure if they are good. Some of them are bad. I know now that I need to watch everything I say. I may not think it is bad but to hear it come from my kids sounds terrible. I am not talking about cursing and that sort of thing. But just a lot of negative things. Does God feel the same way? We are all God's children created in His image. Would He or Does He enjoy listening to us say those things? If I don't like hearing it come from my kids why would He like hearing it come from us? I am 29 years old. I don't think I am that old but I don't want to become so set in my ways now that I can't change them. Lord, Help me to change. Keep me in your will. So me your ways. I want to be just like you in all that I do and say. Amen.

Thursday, November 23, 2006

A Long Time

Well, it has been a long time since I last posted anything. I didn't really have a lot to say on my last post and I am praying that the Lord will give me something useful to say now. A post or two back I stated that I was on a diet and exercise program. Well, I am happy to report that I am still on the same program and I have lost 9 1/2 pounds in 3 weeks. I am happier with myself and seem to be in better health which is making my husband very happy. I never realized that when one got married they stopped really worrying about themselves as much. You begin to think about what you can do to make the other person happy. The first chapter or day 1 in the 40 days of purpose book stats "It's not about me". That is true not only with Christ but with a marriage. It's not about me. Why does everything have to center around me? Christ is the husband coming for His bride. We not only need to be ready but we need to be thinking about what would make Him happy. What does He want us to do? It is Thanksgiving day think of all the things that you are thankful for and just spend some time today Thanking God for all that He has done and will do in your life. Have a great Thanksgiving day.

Friday, November 10, 2006

Nothing much

Well, there is nothing much really going on here. I am glad to say that all is well with me and my family. God is continuously blessing us and for that we are thankful. The exercise class that I am currently attending is hard and making me not want to eat because I have to work it off again. At least at some point I will lose weight. There is always a rainbow at the end of a storm.

Monday, November 06, 2006

Just a little insight

I realize that it has been several days since my last blog. I am sorry for that. I would just like to let you know what has been going on. Nothing big and major has happened. Praise the Lord! Today will make my 7th day straight at work. Don't get me wrong I like my job. But no matter how much I like it, it just feels soooo good to stay at home on your day off.

Well, Yesterday was Sunday and it was supposed to be my day off after 5 days. I was looking forward to it. Despite the fact that I wasn't really going to have the Full day off because I help my husband on Sunday mornings at 2:30am, but after church I would be at home for the rest of the evening. Ahhhh! :o) Sadly, that didn't happen. I got a call about 3:30 yesterday afternoon asking if I could come in at 7 and work till 10 or I could close the place down at 9. I foolishly said okay but because of a meeting that started at 6 at church I wouldn't be able to be there until 7:15. They said Great! So, 7:15 comes and I am at work on a SUNDAY! I am not happy with myself or the people there. The guy that was working until I got there had the place in such a mess I didn't actually leave until 10:20pm. Now remember I have been up since 2:30am. I was tired, frustrated and it showed on my face. Now, another thing is that I will have OVER 40 hours this week and they HATE anyone getting over time. Nothing I can do about that right. So, they said that I could keep it or I could take it off sometime between now and Thursday. With any luck Thursday is my next day off. I realized that no matter how tired I am or frustrated I am with my job or the people there it is still my duty to show the Love of God to each person that I come in contact with. It has never hit me so hard as it did last night when I got home and was soooo tired that I literally collapsed on the bed from exhaustion. I feel like I have missed so much this week at my home and there is really nothing I can do about it. I know that my family sees God's love in the little things but the people of the world don't even see it in the big things. Like just watching a tree sway in the wind. That is why we as Christians are here. To help those that need it the most. Like I said this is just a little insight that I have begun to realize after yesterday.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

The hardest thing

I have recently started trying to change myself for the better. I am highly overweight and I am now currently on a exercise and diet program. It is so hard. I know that I can make it with God's help. He gave me the strength to actually get up this morning despite the fact that my leg muscles are so very sore from Tuesdays workout, and go workout again after I took my kids to school. I know that if it was just me I wouldn't have even bothered but I have been praying about this and I know that it was God directing me this morning. It is still going to be hard but I believe I can make it. Please keep me in your prayers. Have a great and Blessed day in the Lord.

Monday, October 30, 2006

Two Questions

I went to a women's meeting last night and was asked two questions. So, I thought that I would share these questions with you. Where are you in the Lord and are you where you want to be? What is your heart's desire? I know that I am not where I want to be in the Lord but I am so much closer to Him now than ever before. And right now I just want more. How about you?

Friday, October 20, 2006

Is Christ the Theme of your Ministry

2 Corinthians 4:3

If our gospel is hidden, then it is hidden from them that are lost. There are people lost and dying in this world and our ministry is to seek them out and preach them the gospel of Christ so they too can have eternal life. If Christ is the light of the world and Christ lives in us then we are His light to those that are in darkness. With God's help I will not procrastinate any longer. I will not hide the gospel from those that are lost.

Sunday, October 15, 2006

Thirst for God

Psalm 63 talks about thristing for God. Have you ever been very thirsty? I mean so thirsty that no matter what you drink of how much you just can't quench your thirst. I have and I can tell you that it is no fun at all. Did you know that you can thirst for God in the same manner? No matter how much of God's spirit you get you just can't seem to get enough. I am currently that way. I can't seem to get enough. I just want more and more. God, please grant me my request. I want more of you, and nothing else.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Just Thinking

I was driving my kids to school this morning and was listening to the new cd that my husband bought. I was thinking about something a pastor at our church said on Sunday. He said, "Imagine if Jesus were sitting there in the room with you. You wouldn't just be worrying about what you are doing on the outside or what you are watching, but you should be having pure thoughts as well." How calm and peaceful would your spirit be? I am trying with God's help to be that peaceful and calm all the time. People are wanting to actually be around me now. Not that that is my goal but it does make you feel good about yourself and want to help others.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

True Way into the Kingdom

Matt. 7:21-23

21. Not everyone that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my father in heaven.
22. Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?
23. And then will I profes unto them, I never knew you; depart from me, ye that work iniquity.

In verse 21 it tell us the true way into the kingdom of heaven, "He that doeth the will of my father in heaven". Jesus gave us an example of exactly that in Luke 22:42. Jesus is in the Garden of Gethsemane praying, "Saying, Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done." WOW! He is about to be arrested and crusified for doing nothing wrong and yet he still says, "not my will but thine be done." Are we better than Jesus Christ himself that we shouldn't be saying the same thing, "Not my will Lord, but thine be done". There are a lot of people out there proclaiming to be Christians yet not actually doing the will of the Father. What is the will of the father? We are all disciples of Jesus. He told his disciples to go into all the world preaching and teaching the gospel. So, if we are called disciples then shouldn't we be out in the world preaching and teaching the gospel? OUCH! I think I just stepped on my own toes there. :o) I also think the will of the Father is different for each individual person. He has given you talents and gifts but we need to ask what He would want us to do with them. You should pray asking God to show you His will, His plan for your life. You also need to have a personal relationship with Jesus. How do you do that? By reading His word every day, bye praying without ceasing, by remembrance. Remember where you were and how He brought you out. Be sensitive to the spirit. He is your comforter in times of trouble. He will guide you into all truths. You need that personal relationship along with doing the will of the Father which is in heaven or one day you might just hear, "I never knew you; depart from me, ye that work iniquity."

Monday, October 09, 2006

Pearl of Great Price

Matt. 13:45 & 46 says:
45. Again, the Kingdom of Heaven is like unto a merchant man, seeking goodly pearls.
46. Who, when he had found one pearl of great price sold all that he had, and bought it.

A merchant man, buyer, he is looking for the best pearl. We are like that merchant man looking for the best. The best being Jesus and the Kingdom of Heaven. The buyer or merchant found the pearl he was looking for but it cost a great deal. He had to sell all that he had in order to get it. To get to the Kingdom of Heaven we must also sell all that we have. In verse 46 it says "and bought it". That tells me right there that he didn't hesitate. He did what was necessary to get it. He found what he wanted and it didn't matter the cost. We today have found the goodly pearl. It has a great price. We must sell all that we have to get it. I am not talking about selling all your worldly possessions. The only way to get there is by selling out. We hear preachers saying that all the time. But it has never hit so close to home for me before till now. Don't go out and sell your car, your house, your furniture things like that. I am talking about you. Your mind, Your body, heart, soul, strength, family, finances all of it, give it to God. My pastor was talking about idols yesterday and how they are dead. Once you strip away the gold or silver or precious gems that it has been adorned with you have nothing but death. You need the True Living God in your life to help you through your times of trouble. When you completely sell out to God there is no limit to what God can do with you and through you. You could heal the sick, raise the dead, cause the blind to see, the lame could walk again. Praise the Lord! God help me to completely sell out to you. Not so that people will look up to me but they will look to You and You Alone. My challenge for you today is if you are not completely sold out to God but you want to be just say this prayer with me.

"Heavenly Father, I thank you for being who you are. For dying on that old rugged cross for me. Lord right now I give you my all. My family, finances, my heart, mind, my soul, and all my strength, all that I am and ever will be. I give it all to you for you to use to further your kingdom. To reach the lost and hurting. Lord I want to be your willing vessel. Here's my cup Lord, fill it up and make me whole. In Jesus name I pray. AMEN."

This is the day that the Lord has made. Rejoice and be glad in it. :o)

Saturday, October 07, 2006

Falling Short

I never realized how easy it was to fall short. The bible says that all have sinned and fallen short of the Glory of God. I read that and I know what it means but to actually have it apply to you is one thing. I never really thought about that verse as a sinner but when I became a Christian that verse really stuck out with me. I never really realized how far away from God I was. I look back now and it amazes me that the creator of this world would die for me. He didn't just die for me but for all. The homeless man that lives under the downtown bridge, the snotty little kid that lives just a couple of doors down, even the neighbor that you think is really nosy but is just wanting a friend. I have fallen short. I have not tried to reach out to these people. Even today I reminded my kids that they weren't allowed to play with this one kid from down the road because I felt he was a bad influence on them. But I am thinking to myself is that really what I should do. My children should be an even better influence on him. We are to live as the light of the world. As the song says "Hide it under a bushel . NO!" How many of us really Do hide it under a bushel. I don't want to be the one that hides her light anymore. I want the world to know just what God has done for me. I challenge you this day to not hide your light. Let it shine and let it shine so bright that someone will have to wear shades. :o)

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Something New

I titled this one something new because I really don't know what to call it. For several years God has placed in my heart the desire to work with kids, not just in an educational sense but more of a spiritual sense. Well, here lately I have this feeling like God is wanting me to do something else. I am not exactly sure what that is yet but I know that He will reveal it to me soon.


I just started working and have been witnessing to this lady at work. I didn't bring anything about church or my beliefs up. She asked me if I went to church and what I thought about a few things so I told her. And we have been talking about God things ever since. It was a wonderful feeling to be able to talk to her about my God. Then, this morning I went shopping at a local store and this little old lady was trying to find something but couldn't remember the name of what it was she was looking for. I was looking for windex and couldn't find it and found this other stuff called mean green glass and surface cleaner which happens to be what the little lady was talking about. She asked me how I knew what she was looking for and I told her that I didn't but God knew and He sends people right on time. She got all teary eyed and was amazed at how her day was going and thanked me for being honest with her. It was a great day for me.

Thursday, September 28, 2006

A Magnificent Creator

I was watching a movie called "Twister" this evening. I was amazed when they got to the part were they were tied to the pipes at that farm to try to keep from being blown away by the tornado. I never really thought of it before because it was just a movie for entertainment purposes. Well, when it got to that part this evening I was amazed that I never thought about this before. When they were in the middle of that tornado they looked up and you could see the middle of the storm. I was watching and began to cry and praise God for being a magnificent creator. I can't explain it really. It was just a wonderful site to see that the God that created little old insignificant me also made a storm so grand in size with a distructive pattern about it and yet it is still beautiful. I know some people like that. They are the meanest looking people but on the inside I know there is some good in them. Because as the popular kids shirt says "God don't make no Junk". :o) Since Sunday night September 24, 2006, I have had this peace about me. I don't know why. I don't think our circumstances have changed really. I just feel like a big heavy burden has been lifted and again I am seeing the beauty of God all around me. It is a wonderful feeling. Have a great day, and look around you, you never know what might cause you to smile.

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Attacks!

Here lately it seems like my family and I are being attacked. The enemy wants EVERYTHING that we have and even some of the things that we don't have. My family and I just left a church. Believe me that was the hardest thing to do because we do love the people of that church a lot. The pastor and his wife do have their hearts in the right place. I wouldn't say that the church is dead. Because they are growing, very slowly but they are growing. But it seems to me that they are only growing in one area. The elderly. Which don't get me wrong the elderly need God just as much as the rest of us. But what about the children, youth. Please don't blast me yet. :o) I was the children's minister. We had a great turn out at the children's Challenge that we had not long ago but none of the kids came back because most of them went to church elsewhere. I don't blame them for that. The people of that community don't like that church. That church in the past has hurt a lot of people. But people hold grudges for very long times.

On this past Sunday my husband was the worship leader but God had asked him to sit back and watch. So he did. Then this past Sunday God told him to lead worship and see what happens. So he did. You must know something about my huband. He has a heart for worship. That is his passion. It was very hard on him to just sit there and do nothing, but he did it because God asked him to. Have you ever sacrificed something that you were passionate about becasue God asked you to? It is not the easiest thing to do. Back to what I was saying. :o) I was in the congregation on this past Sunday and I was trying with all that was within me to praise and worship but the spirit of God just was not there. I felt like I was going through a thick cloud and there was no end to it. Then I looked up at the platform and saw my husbands face as he was trying to lead these people and you could see the hurt and anguish on his face. It literally broke my heart to watch. I had to close me eyes. My focus all that morning during worship was on God. Not all the millions of problems that seem to be facing my family but God and God alone. And I still could not get to him.
We have decided to go back to the church were we came from because God was asking us to leave this little church. So, on Sunday night I went to a ladies meeting and God was there. You could feel him in the room. It was wonderful.
Many of you probably know that for the past 2 months or so I have been looking for a job, looking for a car. Well, guess what. I now have a job that pays good for being such a small town, and for as long as I need it we have a family car again. One of the ladies on Sunday asked what was going on so I told her. We went looking, my husband and I, at cars on Monday morning after we picked up some furniture for my sis-in-law. And we found the car we want. It is going to take us about 4 weeks to come up with the down payment and then for 3 years that car is covered by a bumper to bumper warranty including the engine. Praise the Lord. I was bummed because I am not a patient person and I am going to have to wait. But my husband said just wait and be cheerful and all will work out just fine. Well, I went to work and I was cheerful told everybody that I found the car that I want but it is going to take a few weeks that sort of thing. When I got home on my lunch hour at 5 the lady that I was talking to on Sunday night, her husband called and said that they had a car that he just brought home from the train yard (he's an engineer) and they wouldn't be using it and we could use for as long as we needed it. PRAISE THE LORD! PRAISE THE LORD! The desert is ending and I can see the Well it is just in reach.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Questions

There are many questions right now going through my brain. I don't know which one to start off with. There was a question asked me through a blog that I read daily and that is going through my head right now more than anything. The question was "What is your passion?". Right now I can't really tell you. It used to be Christ and what I could do for him. I am not saying that that is still not the case. But to actually stop and think about it. I think I lost that passion when my husband went through some things and stopped leading worship. He says that it wasn't worship becuase no one was worshiping. He said that what they want is someone to just lead them in some songs so they can sing and now that is what they have. My spirit is dwindling. It feels as if I am dry and can't quench my thirst. No matter how much I read my bible or pray, which seems to be never ending now days, I still feel dry. I know that at times we go through deserts in our lives but I also now that there is an oasis and I just can't find it. My MP3 player is filled with nothing but praise and worship music and when I am cleaning or even just reading it is playing in my ear. If anyone has any ideas on how to quench this thirst please let me know. I would like to leave you with a song.
Here's my cup Lord. I lift it up Lord.
come and quench this thirsting of my soul.
Bread of Heaven, feed my till I want no more
Here's my cup, fill it up and make me whole.

Saturday, September 09, 2006

Nothing much

Well, my last blog has created a lot of controversy(spelling). I am all foggy as to why I even blogged what I did. I have been taking some cold medicine and I think it has fogged up my already foggy brain. When the devil is attacking you and your entire family it always feels like it is coming from all different directions. It makes you weary because you are always on the look out for what is going to happen next. I would like to say however that I am very proud of my sister-in-law. She has started on a new journey in her life and I know that being by herself is not going to be easy. I will however be praying God's blessing on her life because she is going to need it. Another thing, friends are easy to find when they need something but it is the ones that stick through thick or thin that are the real gems. If I have learned anything in the past couple of days it is to think before you speak and cherish the friends you have because not everyone has one.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Hurtful things

Have you ever had anyone in your life that you looked up to and took their opinion to heart? Well, I have and it is great. Until you find out that that person is the one person that can RIP your heart out with just one little word. I have a person that I considered my sister. We used to do all kinds of things together. I used to look forward to when she and I would just spend hours talking and playing skip-bo. I was closer to her than either of my two real sisters. And she is the one person that can tear me down with just one little word. How is it that we let people do that to us. I have decided that no one from now on is going to hurt me like that again. With God's help I will overcome.

Saturday, September 02, 2006

Sermons

Have you ever been reading your bible and all of a sudden you are inspired to put a sermon together? Well, this morning I was doing my daily reading and found that I was not only hungry to learn more but I wanted to share what I learned with others. It was the greatest feeling in the world. But I found also that afterwards I felt kinda drained, so I had to read more to refuel myself. I have taught children's church for about a year maybe a bit longer but never felt like this. This is not a sermon suited for kids. I don't know why the Lord has given it to me but I am so glad that He did. If you would like to read it, it is posted at www.missionwhitesboro.blogspot.com . It is not bad it is just not the typical children's church story to tell. So, I encourage you to go and read it when you have time.

Friday, September 01, 2006

Lots going on

Well, I haven't blogged in a while. I seem to be doing this,or that, or the other. We have had a trying time here lately, and I think I brought it on myself. On July 20, 2006 my grandmother, the only grandmother that I have really known, passed away. About 2 weeks prior to that I was feeling the leading of the Holy Spirit to go and speak with my grandmother about heaven and a relationship with Jesus Christ. Well, a week went by and I was reminded again to go. I again became too "busy" with things and never got over there. Well, I came home from church on Wednesday night about 8:30 on the 19th and thought that I should call her and see if she felt like having company for about an hour. But, again I didn't. On Thursday morning about 2:30 am I am awakened by the phone. It is my mother asking me to come to my grandmothers. One thing you must know, my grandmother lived just around the corner from me. I knew my mother wouldn't be calling me that time of the morning if it wasn't vitally important. So, I got into my car and drove as quickly but safely as I could to her house. And, my greatest fears had come true. My grandmother had passed away. I was devastated but I needed to be strong for my mother. I didn't tell my mom about what was going through my heart and mind for 2 weeks because I didn't want to depress her more. So, my husband listened to me go on and on about what kind of a Christian can I be if I couldn't even talk to my own grandmother.
Well, a month later and my car has completely quit on me and my husbands truck you have to push to start it. We are not doing well financially, which is one reason why I still do not have a car. I have sinned and I know it. I think that my sin has brought this on not only myself but my family as well. I am currently trying to get back in the good graces of God and it is a hard road. Just as parents must correct their children God must correct his own. This is my correction and I am not liking it but I am still trusting Him and leaning on His understanding not my own.

Monday, July 10, 2006

A whole lot of stuff

I was asked a question Sunday morning during Sunday School so I am going to ask you. What is your Joy? I pondered this all day. On saturday night I was up until 12pm and I go to work at 3:00am every morning. Well, Sunday morning after work i usually go back to sleep for at least an hour sometimes 2 if I am lucky. But this Sunday I could not get back to sleep. I don't know why but something wouldn't let me sleep. So I layed there and prayed and that is all I did was pray. I prayed for 2 hours. And no answer came. Have you ever prayed with all that is in you and still no answer came? Well, the Bible tells us to pray without ceasing. So, guess what? That is what I did all day yesterday. There were some things going on in me personally that made me feel inadequit like there were things that I was supposed to be doing but not. Well, Sunday night God asked me to give up something that I really don't want to. It was litterally ripping out my heart to hear Him say to do this. Just that morning I was teaching the kids in children's church about Jonah and who he disobeyed God and that is how he ended up in the belly of that whale. So, I told them that when God speaks to them and asks them to do something they should do it. Because God will not put more on us then we can handle. So, Sunday night the pastor asked everyone to pray and our church really does not have an alter so I stayed at me seat and prayed. God answered my prayer and told me that I needed to quit the worship team and stay in the congregation with the children of the church. I heart's cry is for the children. To see them saved and living for God and worshipping Him in spirit and in truth. It really hurt to hear Him ask me to do this because I love to sing. During this time the worship leader and the pianist are up there singing while people are praying and they began to sing, while similtaniously I was asking God to fill in the void that would be where my energy for the worship team would be, they began to sing "Fill my cup Lord, I lift it up Lord. Come and quench this thirsting of my soul, bread of Heaven feed me till I want no more, Here's my cup fill it up and make me whole". Since then I have spoken with the worship leader which is my husband and told him. He doesn't understand completely because I couldn't explain but he knows when I hear from God and knows that I want to follow His will not mine. And since I told him I haven't wanted to sing on the worship team anymore. I know that it is still there but God has replaced it with my heart's cry so intensely that that is all I think about now. Thank you Lord for dealing a strong headed woman, and thank you for filling that void in me. Amen.

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

My Life

I just wanted to give a little insight about a day in the life of me. On Sundays I go to church. Not because I have to but because I want to. The same thing for Wednesdays. Either Monday or Tuesday my husband and I play a role playing game with a mutual friend. On Thursday I really don't do anything as well as Friday. On Saturday we go to a warehouse and sweat profusely for and hour because in this warehouse there is no air conditioning and in Texas it is nearly 100 degrees outside but in the building at least 120. It is like being in a giant sweat box and each time I am there I think of the episode of "I Love Lucy" were of course she wants to be in the show, but this time she can be in it but she just can't fit into the outfit. So she goes on a diet and on the last day she rents a steam box and sits in there all day after being in there she can fit into the dress. I feel like I should be at least a dress size smaller after our Saturday in the giant sweat box. That is my week. But as you noticed the first line said that on Sunday I go to church because I want to but the rest of the week I spent no time with God. I didn't talk to Him and read His word. Nothing. So, why should I want to go to church? Good question. I am starting to pray and read everyday which is what needs to be done. I can't wait to see what God can do through me.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Busy Lives

Here at my home we have been busy. Sunday was my first sermon I had heard from my pastor in about a month. Not that I wasn't there but for the past 5 weeks I have been in Children's Church so I hadn't heard a sermon in a while. But I was sitting there listening and realized something about myself. He was saying that in the book of Mark there was a man possesed by demons but he went to church every Sunday. He would go and listen to them teach and he would leave the same way he came still possesed. Until one day a Man walked into the temple the teach and preach as one with authority. The demons in that man asked Him if He had come to torment them. That Man told those demons to be quiet and get out. My pastor said that is like today. We have let the devil in our home and are allowing him to take over our children and spouses and we are not doing anything about it. It is time we take authority in our homes and in our families and say "As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord".
That got me to thinking about something else. I have come to realize that I am a hypocrite. I expect my children to obey me when I ask something of them. But, when God asks something of me, I don't always do what He asks. After all He is my heavenly Father. I should obey Him as much or more than I would want my own children to obey me. As the mother and wife of the home I must set the example. My children look up to me and see what I do and that gives them an example of how I want things to go. God wants all of us not just bits and pieces that we decide we can give up. To know God, I mean really know Him we must communicate with Him daily and read His word. I have 3 bibles and there are those in China who want one desperately but if they are found with one they go to prison. I have 3 and don't read them as much as someone over in China would read one if they could just have one without going to prison for it. There are things that we Christains take for granted. I am now on a new path. I will follow the Lord's leading for my life in ALL things. I will not be petty and spitefull with people. I have decided that no matter what I have a reason to smile and that reason is simple. GOD LOVES ME and FORGAVE ME when I didn't deserve it at all. There is only one thing He asks for in return and that is all of me. That is what I intend to give Him. So, I encourage you to read your bible and pray everyday not just for big stuff but for the little things, not just asking for things but also just to say "Thank You".

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Faults

Well, I was just sitting here thinking about the fault line in California. The fault line is underground and ugly. Kind of like our faults. We try to hide them because we don't want anyone to see them. They are ugly. When people point out our faults it hurts. It is the same way with God. It hurts when He tells us or points out to us where we could use some improvment. All, I can say to you is that no matter what happens just keep trying.

Saturday, April 08, 2006

Listening

I realized the other day that God does still speak to His people. The problem is His people want a quick fix and are not really listening to the answer. Elijah was seeking God but He was not in the Earthquake or the fire but in the still small voice. And the question God asked him was "What are you doing here?" What are we really doing here? Are we listening to God? The children of Israel moved when God moved. A cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night. Sometimes I think God has left us while we still haven't moved. Something else I am wondering about. If God has moved and left us behind, how can we find where He has moved to? I don't believe He is up there waiting on us. When He moves either we move with Him or He goes on ahead while we try and play catch up. I don't know about you but I hate to play catch up. I always feel like I am never going to get there at that point. Do we really need to see the earthquake and the fire before we stop and listen to the still small voice of God? I believe that if we pray and really seek God's face then He will direct us in the way we should go. So I encourage you to continue praying and seeking Him in all that you do. Don't just do it because it feels right.

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Keep Smiling

I have realized that no matter what happens if I just keep smiling things don't seem so bad. So, I was wondering, how do you know you are going to the church that God wants you to go to? I have been going over this in my mind for a few days and still haven't come up with an answer. The only thing I can come up with is to continue to pray and ask for guidance. I will continue to keep smiling and having a good day no matter what happens. I am here to just tell you to continue to keep smiling no matter what happens.

Monday, April 03, 2006

Not everything is roses

Have you ever really looked at your life? Have you ever thought about all the things that you could have done or could have said? I have. I was sitting here this morning thinking about the direction my life is going right now. It isn't going far. I don't have a job, my church family unknowingly hurts me. I just don't get it. What have I done that God would guide me this far and when I need Him the most it doesn't seem like He is there.

Sunday, April 02, 2006

The Greatest thing

I would just like to let you know about the Greatest thing in my life. Don't get me wrong, my family is tops in my life but the greatest thing in my life is the relationship I have with my Heavenly Father. He is the best friend that I never had. I am trying to instill in the children that I teach at church that the greatest thing in their lives is the relationship that they have with God. There are many challenges in my life that are there to keep me in line. But there are also challenges to teach me things. Right now I am being challenged and I am not sure if it is a teaching tool or a "hey you are going the wrong way" kind of thing. One question for you. Have you had any challenges that are not teaching you something or getting you back in line?

Saturday, April 01, 2006

The Perfect Evening

Ladies, have you ever had the perfect evening with your spouse? I did :o) First off let me explain something. I have the greatest sister-in-law in the world. I could not have asked for a better one. Not just for the things that she has done for us over the years but she has a great spirit. Sometimes I think she loves too much. She is a great woman of God and I know that if I asked her anything that she would possibly have the answer and if not she would know where to find it. I usually don't call her my sister-in-law because that just doesn't cover it. She is my sister and my best friend. Anyway, sorry I went off on a little rabbit trail there. :o)

Back to the perfect evening. My sister kept our children last night for us. You just don't realize what a BLESSING that was. I was a substitute teacher the last three days of this week so my nerves were frazzled. I just needed a little time to recoup. My wonderful husband and I went out to eat last night. Not anywhere fancy or anything. We sat in the restaurant for at least an hour talking and having fun telling tales about our day. Then we came home. I had just bought a new cd so I brought that inside and we danced just about all evening right here in our living room. It was wonderful. I will never forget last night.

Thank you God for the wonderful people that you have placed in my life. I exist because you allow me too. I thank you everyday for the chance to serve you one more day. Amen

Thursday, March 30, 2006

Just Another Day in Paradise

Well, it has been a while since I have written. My days seem to run together all the time. Well, on to today message. Have you ever been in a room with about 18 5 year olds? Well, if you haven't let me fill you in. The day starts out rough because if it is not your class then the students think it is a fun day. So they are loud and really rowdy. Not only that but they try you all day long. Our teacher lets us do this or when we get done she says that we can have free play. It is such a joy. Don't get me wrong. I love kids. I really like being a teacher, but somedays are worse than others. I don't know which is worse having a migrain the size of Texas or having a classroom full of 5 year olds. I think I would rather work with 8 year olds. They will at least follow some insturctions that are given to them. I have one more day with these five year oldsso I am going to need all the help I can get. Please pray for me.

Friday, March 10, 2006

A little about me.

My name is Chloe Alleyne. I am actually writing for a friend. My friend is actually a very nice and quiet person. She doesn't like controversy much. I on the other hand really don't care what people think of me. I will stick to what I believe no matter what anyone thinks about it. I am 28 years old. I have no kids but my friend has 2. They are rather interesting creatures. Hence the reason why I don't have any. I really don't have a lot to talk about right now. I hope to post everyday. I will think on things and have something more to talk about tomorow. Until then have a great day and God Bless.