A Magnificent Creator

I was watching a movie called "Twister" this evening. I was amazed when they got to the part were they were tied to the pipes at that farm to try to keep from being blown away by the tornado. I never really thought of it before because it was just a movie for entertainment purposes. Well, when it got to that part this evening I was amazed that I never thought about this before. When they were in the middle of that tornado they looked up and you could see the middle of the storm. I was watching and began to cry and praise God for being a magnificent creator. I can't explain it really. It was just a wonderful site to see that the God that created little old insignificant me also made a storm so grand in size with a distructive pattern about it and yet it is still beautiful. I know some people like that. They are the meanest looking people but on the inside I know there is some good in them. Because as the popular kids shirt says "God don't make no Junk". :o) Since Sunday night September 24, 2006, I have had this peace about me. I don't know why. I don't think our circumstances have changed really. I just feel like a big heavy burden has been lifted and again I am seeing the beauty of God all around me. It is a wonderful feeling. Have a great day, and look around you, you never know what might cause you to smile.

Attacks!

Here lately it seems like my family and I are being attacked. The enemy wants EVERYTHING that we have and even some of the things that we don't have. My family and I just left a church. Believe me that was the hardest thing to do because we do love the people of that church a lot. The pastor and his wife do have their hearts in the right place. I wouldn't say that the church is dead. Because they are growing, very slowly but they are growing. But it seems to me that they are only growing in one area. The elderly. Which don't get me wrong the elderly need God just as much as the rest of us. But what about the children, youth. Please don't blast me yet. :o) I was the children's minister. We had a great turn out at the children's Challenge that we had not long ago but none of the kids came back because most of them went to church elsewhere. I don't blame them for that. The people of that community don't like that church. That church in the past has hurt a lot of people. But people hold grudges for very long times.

On this past Sunday my husband was the worship leader but God had asked him to sit back and watch. So he did. Then this past Sunday God told him to lead worship and see what happens. So he did. You must know something about my huband. He has a heart for worship. That is his passion. It was very hard on him to just sit there and do nothing, but he did it because God asked him to. Have you ever sacrificed something that you were passionate about becasue God asked you to? It is not the easiest thing to do. Back to what I was saying. :o) I was in the congregation on this past Sunday and I was trying with all that was within me to praise and worship but the spirit of God just was not there. I felt like I was going through a thick cloud and there was no end to it. Then I looked up at the platform and saw my husbands face as he was trying to lead these people and you could see the hurt and anguish on his face. It literally broke my heart to watch. I had to close me eyes. My focus all that morning during worship was on God. Not all the millions of problems that seem to be facing my family but God and God alone. And I still could not get to him.
We have decided to go back to the church were we came from because God was asking us to leave this little church. So, on Sunday night I went to a ladies meeting and God was there. You could feel him in the room. It was wonderful.
Many of you probably know that for the past 2 months or so I have been looking for a job, looking for a car. Well, guess what. I now have a job that pays good for being such a small town, and for as long as I need it we have a family car again. One of the ladies on Sunday asked what was going on so I told her. We went looking, my husband and I, at cars on Monday morning after we picked up some furniture for my sis-in-law. And we found the car we want. It is going to take us about 4 weeks to come up with the down payment and then for 3 years that car is covered by a bumper to bumper warranty including the engine. Praise the Lord. I was bummed because I am not a patient person and I am going to have to wait. But my husband said just wait and be cheerful and all will work out just fine. Well, I went to work and I was cheerful told everybody that I found the car that I want but it is going to take a few weeks that sort of thing. When I got home on my lunch hour at 5 the lady that I was talking to on Sunday night, her husband called and said that they had a car that he just brought home from the train yard (he's an engineer) and they wouldn't be using it and we could use for as long as we needed it. PRAISE THE LORD! PRAISE THE LORD! The desert is ending and I can see the Well it is just in reach.

Questions

There are many questions right now going through my brain. I don't know which one to start off with. There was a question asked me through a blog that I read daily and that is going through my head right now more than anything. The question was "What is your passion?". Right now I can't really tell you. It used to be Christ and what I could do for him. I am not saying that that is still not the case. But to actually stop and think about it. I think I lost that passion when my husband went through some things and stopped leading worship. He says that it wasn't worship becuase no one was worshiping. He said that what they want is someone to just lead them in some songs so they can sing and now that is what they have. My spirit is dwindling. It feels as if I am dry and can't quench my thirst. No matter how much I read my bible or pray, which seems to be never ending now days, I still feel dry. I know that at times we go through deserts in our lives but I also now that there is an oasis and I just can't find it. My MP3 player is filled with nothing but praise and worship music and when I am cleaning or even just reading it is playing in my ear. If anyone has any ideas on how to quench this thirst please let me know. I would like to leave you with a song.
Here's my cup Lord. I lift it up Lord.
come and quench this thirsting of my soul.
Bread of Heaven, feed my till I want no more
Here's my cup, fill it up and make me whole.

Nothing much

Well, my last blog has created a lot of controversy(spelling). I am all foggy as to why I even blogged what I did. I have been taking some cold medicine and I think it has fogged up my already foggy brain. When the devil is attacking you and your entire family it always feels like it is coming from all different directions. It makes you weary because you are always on the look out for what is going to happen next. I would like to say however that I am very proud of my sister-in-law. She has started on a new journey in her life and I know that being by herself is not going to be easy. I will however be praying God's blessing on her life because she is going to need it. Another thing, friends are easy to find when they need something but it is the ones that stick through thick or thin that are the real gems. If I have learned anything in the past couple of days it is to think before you speak and cherish the friends you have because not everyone has one.

Hurtful things

Have you ever had anyone in your life that you looked up to and took their opinion to heart? Well, I have and it is great. Until you find out that that person is the one person that can RIP your heart out with just one little word. I have a person that I considered my sister. We used to do all kinds of things together. I used to look forward to when she and I would just spend hours talking and playing skip-bo. I was closer to her than either of my two real sisters. And she is the one person that can tear me down with just one little word. How is it that we let people do that to us. I have decided that no one from now on is going to hurt me like that again. With God's help I will overcome.

Sermons

Have you ever been reading your bible and all of a sudden you are inspired to put a sermon together? Well, this morning I was doing my daily reading and found that I was not only hungry to learn more but I wanted to share what I learned with others. It was the greatest feeling in the world. But I found also that afterwards I felt kinda drained, so I had to read more to refuel myself. I have taught children's church for about a year maybe a bit longer but never felt like this. This is not a sermon suited for kids. I don't know why the Lord has given it to me but I am so glad that He did. If you would like to read it, it is posted at www.missionwhitesboro.blogspot.com . It is not bad it is just not the typical children's church story to tell. So, I encourage you to go and read it when you have time.

Lots going on

Well, I haven't blogged in a while. I seem to be doing this,or that, or the other. We have had a trying time here lately, and I think I brought it on myself. On July 20, 2006 my grandmother, the only grandmother that I have really known, passed away. About 2 weeks prior to that I was feeling the leading of the Holy Spirit to go and speak with my grandmother about heaven and a relationship with Jesus Christ. Well, a week went by and I was reminded again to go. I again became too "busy" with things and never got over there. Well, I came home from church on Wednesday night about 8:30 on the 19th and thought that I should call her and see if she felt like having company for about an hour. But, again I didn't. On Thursday morning about 2:30 am I am awakened by the phone. It is my mother asking me to come to my grandmothers. One thing you must know, my grandmother lived just around the corner from me. I knew my mother wouldn't be calling me that time of the morning if it wasn't vitally important. So, I got into my car and drove as quickly but safely as I could to her house. And, my greatest fears had come true. My grandmother had passed away. I was devastated but I needed to be strong for my mother. I didn't tell my mom about what was going through my heart and mind for 2 weeks because I didn't want to depress her more. So, my husband listened to me go on and on about what kind of a Christian can I be if I couldn't even talk to my own grandmother.
Well, a month later and my car has completely quit on me and my husbands truck you have to push to start it. We are not doing well financially, which is one reason why I still do not have a car. I have sinned and I know it. I think that my sin has brought this on not only myself but my family as well. I am currently trying to get back in the good graces of God and it is a hard road. Just as parents must correct their children God must correct his own. This is my correction and I am not liking it but I am still trusting Him and leaning on His understanding not my own.

A whole lot of stuff

I was asked a question Sunday morning during Sunday School so I am going to ask you. What is your Joy? I pondered this all day. On saturday night I was up until 12pm and I go to work at 3:00am every morning. Well, Sunday morning after work i usually go back to sleep for at least an hour sometimes 2 if I am lucky. But this Sunday I could not get back to sleep. I don't know why but something wouldn't let me sleep. So I layed there and prayed and that is all I did was pray. I prayed for 2 hours. And no answer came. Have you ever prayed with all that is in you and still no answer came? Well, the Bible tells us to pray without ceasing. So, guess what? That is what I did all day yesterday. There were some things going on in me personally that made me feel inadequit like there were things that I was supposed to be doing but not. Well, Sunday night God asked me to give up something that I really don't want to. It was litterally ripping out my heart to hear Him say to do this. Just that morning I was teaching the kids in children's church about Jonah and who he disobeyed God and that is how he ended up in the belly of that whale. So, I told them that when God speaks to them and asks them to do something they should do it. Because God will not put more on us then we can handle. So, Sunday night the pastor asked everyone to pray and our church really does not have an alter so I stayed at me seat and prayed. God answered my prayer and told me that I needed to quit the worship team and stay in the congregation with the children of the church. I heart's cry is for the children. To see them saved and living for God and worshipping Him in spirit and in truth. It really hurt to hear Him ask me to do this because I love to sing. During this time the worship leader and the pianist are up there singing while people are praying and they began to sing, while similtaniously I was asking God to fill in the void that would be where my energy for the worship team would be, they began to sing "Fill my cup Lord, I lift it up Lord. Come and quench this thirsting of my soul, bread of Heaven feed me till I want no more, Here's my cup fill it up and make me whole". Since then I have spoken with the worship leader which is my husband and told him. He doesn't understand completely because I couldn't explain but he knows when I hear from God and knows that I want to follow His will not mine. And since I told him I haven't wanted to sing on the worship team anymore. I know that it is still there but God has replaced it with my heart's cry so intensely that that is all I think about now. Thank you Lord for dealing a strong headed woman, and thank you for filling that void in me. Amen.

My Life

I just wanted to give a little insight about a day in the life of me. On Sundays I go to church. Not because I have to but because I want to. The same thing for Wednesdays. Either Monday or Tuesday my husband and I play a role playing game with a mutual friend. On Thursday I really don't do anything as well as Friday. On Saturday we go to a warehouse and sweat profusely for and hour because in this warehouse there is no air conditioning and in Texas it is nearly 100 degrees outside but in the building at least 120. It is like being in a giant sweat box and each time I am there I think of the episode of "I Love Lucy" were of course she wants to be in the show, but this time she can be in it but she just can't fit into the outfit. So she goes on a diet and on the last day she rents a steam box and sits in there all day after being in there she can fit into the dress. I feel like I should be at least a dress size smaller after our Saturday in the giant sweat box. That is my week. But as you noticed the first line said that on Sunday I go to church because I want to but the rest of the week I spent no time with God. I didn't talk to Him and read His word. Nothing. So, why should I want to go to church? Good question. I am starting to pray and read everyday which is what needs to be done. I can't wait to see what God can do through me.

Busy Lives

Here at my home we have been busy. Sunday was my first sermon I had heard from my pastor in about a month. Not that I wasn't there but for the past 5 weeks I have been in Children's Church so I hadn't heard a sermon in a while. But I was sitting there listening and realized something about myself. He was saying that in the book of Mark there was a man possesed by demons but he went to church every Sunday. He would go and listen to them teach and he would leave the same way he came still possesed. Until one day a Man walked into the temple the teach and preach as one with authority. The demons in that man asked Him if He had come to torment them. That Man told those demons to be quiet and get out. My pastor said that is like today. We have let the devil in our home and are allowing him to take over our children and spouses and we are not doing anything about it. It is time we take authority in our homes and in our families and say "As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord".
That got me to thinking about something else. I have come to realize that I am a hypocrite. I expect my children to obey me when I ask something of them. But, when God asks something of me, I don't always do what He asks. After all He is my heavenly Father. I should obey Him as much or more than I would want my own children to obey me. As the mother and wife of the home I must set the example. My children look up to me and see what I do and that gives them an example of how I want things to go. God wants all of us not just bits and pieces that we decide we can give up. To know God, I mean really know Him we must communicate with Him daily and read His word. I have 3 bibles and there are those in China who want one desperately but if they are found with one they go to prison. I have 3 and don't read them as much as someone over in China would read one if they could just have one without going to prison for it. There are things that we Christains take for granted. I am now on a new path. I will follow the Lord's leading for my life in ALL things. I will not be petty and spitefull with people. I have decided that no matter what I have a reason to smile and that reason is simple. GOD LOVES ME and FORGAVE ME when I didn't deserve it at all. There is only one thing He asks for in return and that is all of me. That is what I intend to give Him. So, I encourage you to read your bible and pray everyday not just for big stuff but for the little things, not just asking for things but also just to say "Thank You".

Faults

Well, I was just sitting here thinking about the fault line in California. The fault line is underground and ugly. Kind of like our faults. We try to hide them because we don't want anyone to see them. They are ugly. When people point out our faults it hurts. It is the same way with God. It hurts when He tells us or points out to us where we could use some improvment. All, I can say to you is that no matter what happens just keep trying.

Listening

I realized the other day that God does still speak to His people. The problem is His people want a quick fix and are not really listening to the answer. Elijah was seeking God but He was not in the Earthquake or the fire but in the still small voice. And the question God asked him was "What are you doing here?" What are we really doing here? Are we listening to God? The children of Israel moved when God moved. A cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night. Sometimes I think God has left us while we still haven't moved. Something else I am wondering about. If God has moved and left us behind, how can we find where He has moved to? I don't believe He is up there waiting on us. When He moves either we move with Him or He goes on ahead while we try and play catch up. I don't know about you but I hate to play catch up. I always feel like I am never going to get there at that point. Do we really need to see the earthquake and the fire before we stop and listen to the still small voice of God? I believe that if we pray and really seek God's face then He will direct us in the way we should go. So I encourage you to continue praying and seeking Him in all that you do. Don't just do it because it feels right.

Keep Smiling

I have realized that no matter what happens if I just keep smiling things don't seem so bad. So, I was wondering, how do you know you are going to the church that God wants you to go to? I have been going over this in my mind for a few days and still haven't come up with an answer. The only thing I can come up with is to continue to pray and ask for guidance. I will continue to keep smiling and having a good day no matter what happens. I am here to just tell you to continue to keep smiling no matter what happens.

Not everything is roses

Have you ever really looked at your life? Have you ever thought about all the things that you could have done or could have said? I have. I was sitting here this morning thinking about the direction my life is going right now. It isn't going far. I don't have a job, my church family unknowingly hurts me. I just don't get it. What have I done that God would guide me this far and when I need Him the most it doesn't seem like He is there.

The Greatest thing

I would just like to let you know about the Greatest thing in my life. Don't get me wrong, my family is tops in my life but the greatest thing in my life is the relationship I have with my Heavenly Father. He is the best friend that I never had. I am trying to instill in the children that I teach at church that the greatest thing in their lives is the relationship that they have with God. There are many challenges in my life that are there to keep me in line. But there are also challenges to teach me things. Right now I am being challenged and I am not sure if it is a teaching tool or a "hey you are going the wrong way" kind of thing. One question for you. Have you had any challenges that are not teaching you something or getting you back in line?

The Perfect Evening

Ladies, have you ever had the perfect evening with your spouse? I did :o) First off let me explain something. I have the greatest sister-in-law in the world. I could not have asked for a better one. Not just for the things that she has done for us over the years but she has a great spirit. Sometimes I think she loves too much. She is a great woman of God and I know that if I asked her anything that she would possibly have the answer and if not she would know where to find it. I usually don't call her my sister-in-law because that just doesn't cover it. She is my sister and my best friend. Anyway, sorry I went off on a little rabbit trail there. :o)

Back to the perfect evening. My sister kept our children last night for us. You just don't realize what a BLESSING that was. I was a substitute teacher the last three days of this week so my nerves were frazzled. I just needed a little time to recoup. My wonderful husband and I went out to eat last night. Not anywhere fancy or anything. We sat in the restaurant for at least an hour talking and having fun telling tales about our day. Then we came home. I had just bought a new cd so I brought that inside and we danced just about all evening right here in our living room. It was wonderful. I will never forget last night.

Thank you God for the wonderful people that you have placed in my life. I exist because you allow me too. I thank you everyday for the chance to serve you one more day. Amen

Just Another Day in Paradise

Well, it has been a while since I have written. My days seem to run together all the time. Well, on to today message. Have you ever been in a room with about 18 5 year olds? Well, if you haven't let me fill you in. The day starts out rough because if it is not your class then the students think it is a fun day. So they are loud and really rowdy. Not only that but they try you all day long. Our teacher lets us do this or when we get done she says that we can have free play. It is such a joy. Don't get me wrong. I love kids. I really like being a teacher, but somedays are worse than others. I don't know which is worse having a migrain the size of Texas or having a classroom full of 5 year olds. I think I would rather work with 8 year olds. They will at least follow some insturctions that are given to them. I have one more day with these five year oldsso I am going to need all the help I can get. Please pray for me.

A little about me.

My name is Chloe Alleyne. I am actually writing for a friend. My friend is actually a very nice and quiet person. She doesn't like controversy much. I on the other hand really don't care what people think of me. I will stick to what I believe no matter what anyone thinks about it. I am 28 years old. I have no kids but my friend has 2. They are rather interesting creatures. Hence the reason why I don't have any. I really don't have a lot to talk about right now. I hope to post everyday. I will think on things and have something more to talk about tomorow. Until then have a great day and God Bless.